Does your partner have ADD/ADHD?

Have you ever wondered if your partner has undiagnosed ADD?

If so you might have noticed certain qualities that they bring to your relationship which may be frustrating to you.

I have treated ADD and it’s impact on life and love for 26 years now; I can help you understand it and develop strategies for dealing with it.

It’s important to note that people with ADD are often very intelligent and well intended. The issues they struggle with are usually not based on bad character but rather on having a brain that is chemically and physically different. These differences can create relationship  challenges in the areas of communication, intimacy and having a smooth domestic life together.

Here are a few of the typical complaints that I hear from partners of ADD individuals

My partner can really focus on things he likes but is inconsistent about everything else.

My partner makes promises then she gets distracted & goes in a whole different direction which throws me.

I nag my partner to be more stable. He always says he will try but he just can't seem to do it. I end up taking on too much.

The harder my partner tries to focus on details the more frustrated she gets.

My partner is very outgoing but doesn't understand certain subtleties in social interactions. This often offends people which embarrasses me. My friends avoid him.

My partner is really smart but repeatedly makes bad decisions & acts impulsively.

Partner's distracted & disorganized I can't trust him to handle small things. I feel I have to micro-manage him like a mother, it's ruining us.

My partner is super smart but has a fast trigger for anger, repeatedly makes bad decisions & acts impulsively I've become afraid of her outbursts. She just jumps to conclusions then goes off on me. The drama is exhausting.

My partner can’t get organized and doesn't do normal things in a normal way.  I don't understand it because she is so smart otherwise.

My partner is very enthusiastic at first but then loses steam and never finishes what she starts. Our home is filled with half finished projects.

My partner procrastinates on everything. I hate that I have to nag to keep him going.

My partner is a Night Owl and a restless sleeper, night time is an ongoing battle for us.

My partner is quick to anger, talks too much and goes off on unconnected tangents.

Taking inventory

If several of these patterns are present in your relationship your partner may have ADD and it might be useful to have a session or two of Couples Therapy to understand it better. I can help you with strategies to get more in sync together.

My partner can’t get organized or do normal things in a normal way.  I don't understand it because he is really smart.

My partner is very enthusiastic at first but then loses steam & never finishes what she starts. Our home is filled with half finished projects.

My partner procrastinates on everything. I hate that I have to nag him about it.

My partner has a weird memory. He walks into a room & forgets what he came for then starts something else.

My partner is a Night Owl and a restless sleeper, night time is an ongoing battle for us.

My partner is quick to anger, talks too much and goes off on unconnected tangents. When I finally interrupt to get him back on track he explodes at me for interrupting.

Dona Laressa Desmond, PhD, LMFT

PreMarital Counselor & Couples Therapist

$40 discount on all video counseling sessions during COVID.