ADHD Partner
My partner can’t get organized or do normal things in a normal way. I don't understand it because he is really smart.
My partner is very enthusiastic at first but then loses steam & never finishes what she starts. Our home is filled with half finished projects.
My partner procrastinates on everything. I hate that I have to nag him about it.
My partner has a weird memory. He walks into a room & forgets what he came for then starts something else.
My partner is a Night Owl and a restless sleeper, night time is an ongoing battle for us.
My partner is quick to anger, talks too much and goes off on unconnected tangents. When I finally interrupt to get him back on track he explodes at me for interrupting.
Does your partner have ADD/ADHD?
Have you ever wondered if your partner has undiagnosed ADD?
If so you might have noticed certain qualities that they bring to your relationship which may be frustrating to you.
I have treated ADD and it’s impact on life and love for many years now; I can help you understand it and develop strategies for dealing with it.
It’s important to note that people with ADD are often very intelligent and well intended. The issues they struggle with are usually not based on bad character but rather on having a brain that is chemically and physically different. These differences can create relationship challenges in the areas of communication, intimacy and having a smooth domestic life together.
Here are a few of the typical complaints that I hear from partners of ADD/ADHD individuals
My partner can really focus on things he likes but inconsistent about everything else. Plus has a hair trigger to anger, gets really loud, flys off the handle & says hurtful things. He gets over it fast, cant understand why I can't just get over it.
Me & my girlfriend work out a plan then she gets distracted, making decisions in her mind without telling me & goes in a whole different direction which throws me every time. I worry about having kids with her on down the road.
I nag my husband to be more stable. He tries but just can't do it. I end up taking on everything. He's like an extra child & I resent him.
The harder my wife tries to focus on details the more frustrated & snappy she gets.
My boo is very outgoing, which I like, but he doesn't understand certain subtleties in social situations we go to. He offends people which embarrasses me. My friends avoid him.
Wife is really smart but repeatedly makes impulsive bad decisions.When I give advice she gets pissed.
Partner's distracted & disorganized I can't trust him to handle small things. I feel I have to micro-manage him like a mother. It's ruining us.
My husband's super smart with a fast trigger for anger, acts impulsively & doesn't learn from any consequences. He just has no thought about his words when he's mad. I've become afraid of his outbursts. He just jumps to conclusions then goes off on me. It's exhausting. I feel on egg shells & stressed out.
My fiance can’t get organized or do normal things in a normal way. I don't understand it because she is so smart otherwise.
My daughter's mother is very enthusiastic about things at first but then loses steam & interest. Our home is filled with unfinished projects. If I want it to get done I have to finish it when the project wasn't even my idea in the first place. I want a partner not someone I have to project manage.
My fiance procrastinates. On everything! I hate that I have to nag to keep him going.
If I nag he doesn't do it, if I don't nag he doesn't do it. I can't win. I feel so alone.
My husband is a night owl & always been a restless sleeper. Night time is an ongoing battle for us. I want us to go to sleep together. Makes me sad.
My spouse is quick to anger, talks too much, goes off on unconnected tangents then says I am the impatient one. Maybe I am after 12 years of his ADHD effecting our marriage. Help!
Taking inventory
If several of these patterns are present in your relationship your partner may have ADD and it might be useful to have a session or two of Couples Therapy to understand it better. I can help you with strategies to get more in sync together.
Laressa Desmond, PhD, LMFT
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