What are Attachment Styles?
One of the newer areas of psychology for Couples is the study of Attachment Styles. Everyone has a basic way of demonstrating their attachment to another person once they are committed. This intensifies after marriage.
Some people attach securely showing their way of love to be stable and reliable. Others are constantly ambivalent about their love, while others generate unnecessary insecurity and fill the relationship up with their anxiety.
Still others avoid attaching all together and can only tolerate minimal connection.
These Attachment Styles are formed during childhood. They can be modified over time, but focus is needed to change them.
It is thought that your Attachment Style directly impacts the way that you communicate during stressful times, the amount of trust that you can extend and and the level of intimacy that you require to feel safe and satisfied. Also, your Attachment Style impacts how long you can stay emotionally close to another person without needing to create distance.
While discussing Attachment Styles is not part of traditional PreMarital Counseling I do make that topic available for you.
Attachment Styles are quite subtle but influential, like a software program running in the background, so you may find it valuable to discuss this in our PreMarital sessions.
Dona Laressa Desmond, PhD, LMFT
Expert Couples Counseling & Life Coach